De-Evolution of the Leading Man

Defending Tequila Sunrise. Yes, Tequila Sunrise.

(By special Mugn Hour guest contributer, Double-S)

Today', we're going to defend the little seen noir film from the 80s, Tequila Sunrise? Why should we defend this piece of fluff? Go to any saturday night party, and you'll see a few loudmouths, sloshing their vodka cranberry in the kitchen, bashing films of a certain era. The young folks all live in the present, so they'll criticize anything that wasn't aimed at them. The old folks hate anything that was made in color. The film school snobs hate anything made after 1979, etc. Lately, the target of a lot of criticism seems to be the 1980s.

This is why film buffs between roughly 38 and 45 have such a unique perspective on the art of the movie. We were there for the changing of the guard. We were in the middle of our movie going youth when 'B' movies evolved into tentpoles, when Bond went from escapism to studio foundation. We were there when John Wayne made way for Clint Eastwood. We were there when Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kurt Russell, Arnold Schwarzenneger, and Sylvester Stallone became huge commercial stars while Havey Keitel, Robert DeNiro, James Caan, and Al Pacino pretty much didn't.

People already at or near adulthood in the mid-70's don't get it. People born after about 1973 don't get it. Upon its December release in 1988, Tequila Sunrise was an oddity. Not a drama, not an action film, not a romance. Though people would balk today, none of its stars were at the time proven box office winners. Though famous, Gibson had enjoyed only one legitimate domestic hit. Pfeiffer had been part of one real hit and one critical darling. Russell was, and still is, the one kiddie star who moved into adult roles. The film was written by Chinatown's Robert Towne, and it wasn't good enough to win at Oscar time.

Mel and Bob may jump out of cyberspace to blow my theory, but Gibson's character was doomed to pay for his past transgressions from the start and the tacked on happy ending existed to make a failed attempt at Oscar bait commercial. Like Payback eleven years later, it worked. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Gibson didn't draw from his Sunrise experience when he took Payback over from booted director, BrianHelgelund. So, to shit on the movie is just lame. The 1980's were an incredibly transformative decade for the medium. More so than even now when the 'movie' experience is being challenged from so many different directions.

It's easy to crap all over stupid audiences today, but I'd be very surprised if something like Twins would enjoy three times the box office receipts of Tequila Sunrise this Christmas. Look at the eighties. DeNiro was a non-factor until his first 'commercial' effort in 1988 and he pretty much hasn't looked back in the two decades since. Pacino effectively did not work from Scarface to 1989's Sea of Love. Keitel was relegated to supporting work in Judge Reinhold and Joe Piscopo vehicles. Caan took the decade off. Why? Because they made movies no one saw.

Again, give DeNiro credit for cashing in. He figured it out a good decade ahead of Pacino and hasn't been forced into DTV because of it. What does all this have to do with Tequila Sunrise? Damned little, save for the fact very few 'insiders' in 1979 would've predicted that Sly, Arnie, and Mel would be the big dogs in the eighties while folks like Bobby, Al, and Jimmy were poised to relative obscurity in that time frame.

We'll discuss the 80s further at a later time. Sure, there is plenty of room for criticism, but to write the decade off is just not cricket man, particularly Tequila Sunrise. Not a great movie, but definitely worth another look.

Anthony Hopkins's New Gig: Harassing Customers

Residuals for Howard's End and The Edge are apparently trickling down to a few dollars a week, judging by Anthony Hopkins latest acting assignment. With no more Thomas Harris novels in the pipe, Hopkins has taken his signature and alimony-worthy role to its next logical step, showcasing himself outside of seasonal retail stores.

"It's been great having Tony-- I mean, Mr. Hopkins here," exclaimed Burbank Spirit Halloween Store manager Bobby Schaffer. "I'm not sure if I'd necessarily call myself a fan, but I really liked his mo-cap work in Beowulf."

After feeding a Diet Coke and a straw into the Oscar-winning actor's mouth, Schaffer went on to say, "It's been great for business. People come here - well, mainly soccer moms looking for cute peapod outfits for their newborns and young f-towels seeking slutty Dorothy costumes, and then they see Hannibal eff'ing Lector. I mean, that's a shopping experience you'll remember."

When asked to comment about his latest work, Hopkins would only repeat, "I'm having an old friend for dinner."

Quint Goes Down With the ORCA

Douchebag Song

This song is dedicated to Dane Cook, Kid Rock and Jeremy Piven. With love ...

Yoda HATES Clones!

You know, I recall Yoda babbling something to Luke about using the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack - blah-blah-blah.

This does not look like a defensive pose. And a clone trooper going up against a Jedi Master is like a Devry drop-out going up against the editor of the Harvard Review. Not cool, Master Yoda. Not ... cool.

It's Not the 4th, But a Brief Essay on Fourths Anyway

(Special Contributing Mung Hour Writer - Double-S)
Four of anything is probably too many. My thoughts on some we've seen and some we will/might see...

• Dirty Harry 4 - Paced quicker than the first three, this one had less dramatic 'impact', but was a crowd pleaser. I loved it to death, but was sixteen, so I get a pass.
• Die Hard 4 - It barely worked. Huge assist from Justin Long.
• Lethal Weapon 4 - Excrement. A series of bad SNL skits with guns.
• Indy 4 - Fun in the theatre on first viewing, but really wasn't very good.
• Terminator 4 - Doesn't really count. 4th installment in name only.
• Rocky IV - Excrement of the highest order. Not even really a film. It's the last five minutes of the third film, a James Brown video, several montages, and two protracted boxing matches. If memory serves, there were only two scenes where people actually spoke with each other.
• Rambo IV - Two words: Li'l Smokies. Talkin' about your hands, Sly. Lay off the rBGH.
  
• Superman IV - I'm not going to pick on a dead quad, but it was bad even by 1989 standards.
• Batman & Robin - Makes Rocky IV look like Richard III.
• Spidey IV - To me, they'd be better off waiting another couple of years, then re-casting Parker with an older actor and doing a trilogy with him. Tobey will look like a moppet when he's fifty. Squeezing out a 4th one five years after the third seems like a bad play, especially if they've still got him sputtering around NY on that fucking mo-ped.
• Pirates IV - This is a unique franchise in that it requires only two things: The movie business mind of Jerrry Bruckheimer and the acting talents of Johnny Depp. Absolutely no one else needs to return for this to be successful. I would, in fact, suggest that the best thing they could do is punt every one save for a few of the supporting players. Geoffrey Rush would be a nice add, but they could do it without him. In fact, for me, this one is only interesting if they wait awhile and come back with a whole new creative team. Depp could revisit this one well into his sixties.

I know this isn't a 4th, but I keep hearing about it...

Rambo V - Please, God, no.