1) Marvel at how much money the cast of A Christmas Story is NOT making from the TNT marathon.
2) Reminisce about the times you braved snow and ice on Christmas night, so you could nail your college girlfriend.
3) Race to the nearest Santa you can find still working and stammer, "I know you're not THE Santa I screamed at and pee'd on 30 years ago, but please accept this apology anyway!"
4) Drink a toast to all the many talented Jewish folks who wrote your favorite Christmas songs.
5) At brunch, compliment your mother's scrambled eggs and then quickly drop that you've switched political parties and are now in fact gay and dating Neil Patrick Harris.
6) Get ripped, cover yourself completely in mud, climb onto your roof at 2am and, torch in hand scream, "Santa! I'm here! Do it! Do it now!" and see how many of your neighbors get your Predator homage.
7) Wrap a box of Magnum condoms for tonight's family white elephant game.
8) Tell your Latino buddy that you hate the song "Feliz Navidad" but that you hope it won't damage your friendship.
9) Tell your wife that her Christmas present is a two-week trip to Paris and Italy, leaving out the part about you not actually booking it until you both retire for the following morning.
10) Nude Christmas caroling outside of 7-11.
2 comments:
#8, Really? I hate the song, but really?
I like #4 best...Too funny!
Post a Comment