(By special Mung Hour contributing writer, Double-S)God bless you, sir. I don’t care if you do have stains in your shorts older than your girlfriend. My hat is off to you!
The look on your face just screams, “Two hours from now, this broad will be face down on my pool table slathered in aloe begging for the Ben Wa Balls.” And what’s the best part? You don’t have to waste your top shelf liquor on her, because SHE’S UNDER 21!
I’d always heard you were smart. You probably just spent the Veteran’s Day weekend defiling this girl and were only out the price of rubber gloves and some Skittles. But let’s not forget the risks.
You’re old. Yeah, that’s a snazzy dye job, but we all know only about half that hair actually grew out of your scalp. The guy you play on TV is supposed to be about fifty, but you left the half-century mark in the dust a LONG time ago. Sir, don’t you realize that at almost 61 years of age, you risk your life and what’s left of Jeri Ryan’s career every time you pop a boner pill and mount this kid? Please be careful.
I’m not saying don’t debase a woman young enough to be your great grandchild. I’m simply suggesting you take it easy, because you have over sixty more episodes of Shark to put in the can before there’s enough to sell into syndication. You’ve got a lot of fans out there who don’t want you to die ravaging this young lady, because we’re hoping you’ll live to take her baby sister to the Emmy Awards when you’re seventy!
Viva Viagra!
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